‘Internally, I’m yelling’: Inside the impacts of a hypersensitive sensory system

Annabelle March, 19, speaks to No Such Thing as Normal about her experiences with hypersensitivity. Photo / Supplied
Nineteen-year-old Annabelle is a second-year university student, with a passion for education, history and genealogy. Yet attending lectures can be an intense experience for her.
Annabelle has a hypersensitive sensory system. For her, this means the innocent noises of other humans – like chewing, “lip-smacking”, whispering, even breathing – can be intolerable.
“Internally, I’m yelling,” she says. “But I know that it’s just normal human activity. I can’t make people stop breathing and of course I don’t want to. But I can’t focus on anything else and eventually I have to move away”.
Annabelle is a guest on the first episode in the second season of Sonia Gray’s NZ Herald podcast, No Such Thing as Normal. She has diagnoses of ADHD and autism, both of which are often accompanied by sensory processing challenges.
But occupational therapist Elen Nathan says these issues aren’t solely linked to ASD or ADHD. “You can have sensory differences in perimenopause, or from trauma or you can just be born with these sensory differences” she says. “It’s complicated, but it’s important to understand these challenges are real, it’s not a choice. This is about foods or clothing or noises that feel unsafe – the sensory system is saying ‘I’m under threat’.”
Nathan works at the Playful Place, a therapy service in Hawke’s Bay, and says extreme sensitivities, such as Annabelle’s are not uncommon. “I’ve had young clients who can hear electricity in the walls, and others who can eat only three foods. The [therapy] has to be gentle and fun. We want to gently help get them to a place where there are less restrictions on their lives.”
Host Sonia Gray says it’s a confusing and seemingly hopeless situation that families find themselves in. “Society has very little tolerance for people who need things to be a certain way”, she says. “There’s a huge gap between what these individuals are experiencing and what the rest of the world is seeing.”
Gray’s 15-year-old daughter, Inez, had acute sensory challenges when she was younger. They have eased with age but Gray still describes the intense years as traumatic for the whole family. “My daughter was wearing one dress and only eating a handful of foods – we felt very isolated”, she says, “but I now know there are thousands of kids who have challenges like Inez”.
Nine-year-old Nikolas also struggles with food and clothing. He recently moved schools as the shoes he had to wear for his uniform at his previous school became impossible for him to wear – describing them as like “an itchy, scratchy, snail garden”. As part of the interview, Nikolas agreed to try and put on a pair of shoes.
“I really wanted people to understand how intense the experience is for him, but I wasn’t expecting it to be quite that tough. He managed to get one shoe halfway on and then had to quickly take it off,” Gray says. She says they laughed about it afterwards, but she says it’s heart-breaking to think so many kids are forced to wear a uniform they feel trapped in”.
Gray admits this was a complicated topic to address first up in Series 2. “The vestibular system, procieoception, interoception – it’s all stuff I tried to get my head around with my own daughter – and it bamboozled me!” she says. So for this episode, she’s kept things basic and focused on the actual experience of her guests. “I’m trying to help society understand the neurodivergent experience”, she says. “And the best way, I believe, is hearing from those who are actually living it.”
When you’re supporting a child – or adult – with sensory challenges, life can feel overwhelming. Elen Nathan’s advice is to try to stay on their side. “Empathy and acceptance and an acknowledgement that what they are going through is really hard. That’s the best therapy”.
No Such Thing as Normal is a NZ Herald podcast, hosted by Sonia Gray, with new episodes available every Saturday.
Season One won Best History & Documentary Podcast at the 2024 NZ Radio and Podcast Awards, and was one of Apple Podcast’s Most Shared series in 2023.
The series was made with the support of NZ on Air.
You can listen to it on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.